Saturday, November 27, 2010

Help!.......I've lost my head and my leg is in the oven!!!!

I have to admit that I'm not the most organized individual.  I make only a few pieces every year and I have been trying to track my time on each piece so that I can get a better fix on the listing price. Trying to be more professional, you know.  I think now, after more than 10 years I am up to about 10 cents an hour before taxes.  A heady increase in riches over the years, but hardly enough to sustain body and soul never mind support any kind of luxury.... (even at the dollar store).
I can work a little more quickly if I'm not dreaming as I go, but I decided there's no fun in that. I could forgo checking my email every 20 minutes or so, but what if Publisher's Clearing House was trying to contact me or there was a new friend request on Facebook? Trips to the bathroom are not negotiable and though excursions upstairs to the fridge take time out of my work day, I have to keep up my energy somehow, and a glass of wine now and again never hurt anyone.  Right?  See, practical thinking.  Developing a process.  A new path.
I'm really trying hard to pinpoint the areas that will save me time, and I'm quite diligent about it.

Herewith, my findings:
After much consideration,  I have come to the conclusion  that I have that dreaded disease, C.R.S.  You can imagine what the acronym represents once you know the first two words are 'can't remember'.  Let's just say for the sake of propriety 'Can't Remember Stuff'.
Stuff like:  Where are the damn scissors?......why did I dig this out of the bottom left hand drawer of the old cupboard in the basement last night?..... and what the heck is it?..... where is that great piece of vintage fabric,  ..... and what was I just doing (or going to do)....I don't remember eating that chocolate cookie....... Where did it go?

It's a shame really.  I once thought I had a functioning brain. I could hold down a job and keep house, as well as be a sex kitten when required.....Oh, stop it!  I could so.  I remember distinctly.
I could bring home the bacon AND cook it,  could multi-task with the best of them, and hardly ever forgot where my car was in the parking lot at the mall.
Sadly, that was then, this is now.  Maybe I gave my kids a piece of my mind too often, and now I don't have enough left to get me through the rest of my days.  A really worrying prospect. But deciding that worry is a time waster,  I will forge ahead and not be distracted. Onward and upward.

Recently I spent a good deal of time making a little pumpkin head character. I started with the head.  I was so excited because it was really cute and coming together so nicely. The story for the character was firmly implanted in my mind  (they all have a story, although I do have to write them down or I forget them....Oh, and I have to tape them to the wall....the stories that is not the dolls, or I lose the train of thought that prompted the idea in the first place),  but no matter.  This was going to work.  I decided I was spending too much time obsessing on the head,  (See? Taking control)  so I thought I would set it aside and be practical.  I would consider that part finished and begin work on the body.  I got a bit too engrossed with that too as I went along,  but I knew that the looming deadline would be met because I had WILLPOWER,  and was working systematically....(besides, I was afraid of the wrath of Gourdie*..... *for insiders only).  I was so proud of myself.  The shiny new me.
Everything was going along swimmingly (you don't hear that word very often anymore, but I like the sound of  it, don't you?) and I finally finished the painting and staining and was ready to take photos and post my new creation for the world to admire.  There was just one little problem.
I couldn't find the head.  Anywhere. Not surprising at all in my studio, cum office, cum sewing room, cum extra bedroom,  where a cat could  lose her kittens, but there are certain places that I use to hide things for safekeeping and I had faith it would come to me.  Meanwhile, better keep looking just in case.
Rooting through the garbage isn't much fun, so I  got that over with first.  No luck.  Cupboards, shoe boxes,  plastic containers, and shelves thoroughly  inspected.  Not in the fridge, washer or dryer. Check!  Not to worry.  It had to be in the next place I looked.  Just a little longer and it would come to me.  Or not.  Just to be on the safe side, I started another new head.  Several glasses of wine were demolished in this process, but in the end the head presented itself to me. ( I can't reveal where or how, or I'd have to kill you). Suffice it to say, I made the deadline by the skin of my teeth and was happy to have another head started for my next project.  Now back on track and slightly ahead of the game, I was feeling quite cheerful when the phone rang.  It was that nice lady who calls regularly to convince me that I had won a trip in a contest that I couldn't recall entering. Because she seemed so friendly and interested in how my day was going I began relating my story to  her.  It suddenly dawned on me that I had ages before left some polymer doll parts in the oven upstairs,  and trying not to convey too much panic I said, "Could you call me back at another time?  My leg is in the oven and I can smell it burning"!!!
For some reason I never heard from her again.  In retrospect,  another way of streamlining my day.  I'll have to remember it next time.


  1. Too funny. I laughed right out loud...more than once. Maybe it's because I am beginning to relate...oh dear! Keep it coming...I can't wait to read what happens tomorrow.
    ~love mb